I'm off to the European Graduate School for another summer and am stopping in Miami on my way, so I can visit my family and some old friends.
It's hot and humid here. It rained a bit this afternoon, like it does every afternoon in Miami. There's a canal behind my brother's apartment where I'm staying and whne it rained it had that amazing look that water in miami gets that i love so much, its rushing and the surface is dark grey, reflecting the clouds overhead. I don't know why I like that so much, but if you ever saw my old homepage, hyperpoem, you might remember the photo of the water from there.
Anyway, if you're in miami and are reading this, drop me an email or an IM, I'm only in town for a few days and I don't have my cell, so its hard to get a hold of folks.
This is the first time I've been home since I've been "out" as a transgender person, since I haven't been home in about two years. So, while I'm here I get to do the fun job of telling my whole family about my new self and my new name...
technorati tags: queer, genderqueer, transgender, miami, egs
Its fucking scary. Last night I told my brother and it went well. I was pretty freaked out about saying anything, so I dressed nice and butch for the flight here. Once I saw him I was still questioning what I should do, and then I called home to let folks know that I got here okay.
When I called, pipi told me the most wonderful thing on the phone, she said, roughly, "I just want to tell you that its great what you're doing by telling your family in miami, and I know its scary, and your dad's vein is going to bust out of his head or something when you tell him, but just know that there are millions of queer people around the world who've done the same thing and who love you too." That was so sweet and it was really what helped me finally decide to tell my brother and everybody else while I'm here. Well, I'm not going to tell my mom because she's really sick and has enough on her mind, but everyone else, and she won't read this blog, and I'm pretty sure my family doesn't read this blog either. Hah!
So after I told my brother he said something like well I'll still love you whatever you want to wear, but the funny part was "I'll try not to be uncomfortable if you want to dress like a woman around me." To which I laughed out loud, and he did too. I just know he'll feel uncomfortable, but he'll get used to it. It was a nice sentiment. My brother's really into 12 step programs and self-help books, so he asked "so is what you're talking about Gender Confusion?", and I explained that a technical description might be gender dysphoria or gender confusion, but that I totally reject that idea because it implies that there's something wrong with being genderqueer or transgender.
I'm probably not going to go around miami with my favorite outfits on, I'm probably going to stick to more butch clothes, just because I'm going to be by myself a lot and don't feel very safe.
I feel like I haven't been updating this blog much lately as I've been so busy with school. I wonder if this is the first time I've "come out" to some of the readers of this blog, if there are any. I'd love to hear feedback from you, but we don't allow anonymous comments, which is something I really don't like about this blog in particular. I'm planning on switching to a different site which can allow anonymous comments soon, though. So if you have an acct and want to respond, please do, if not and you know my email, you can email me.
Well, I'm going to head out and try to see if my mom is at home. More travel updates later...
